Chicken Noodle: “I hate poop.”
Me: “Well, it’s kind of just a part of life.”
CN: “I know. Animals poop and boys poop and everybody poops.”
Me: “Right.”
CN: “Trees poop and pee too. When leaves fall it’s pee and poop is whole branches.”
Me: “Actually, the crazy truth is that trees poop gasses. Like oxygen, which we need. It’s what we breathe.”
CN: “What.”
Me: “Yeah, oxygen is a tree’s waste product, like our poop and pee. They get rid of something we need. That’s why trees are our friends. Cool, huh?”
CN: “You mean I am breathing poop right now?”
Me: “Sure. Tree poop.”
CN: “Gross! You mean that tree is pooping and peeing on me right now when we walk by?”
ME: “Yah, kind of.”
CN: “Oh, yuck! I can feel it on my arms, ugh, my legs are covered in tree poop, stop, tree, no!”
(silence)
(giggling)
Me: “Chicken?”
CN: “Yeah?”
Me: “You are so awesome.”
CN: “Thanks, Mom. You are too.”