Wife For Hire
Duties include:
Finding more outfits for Chicken Noodle, who has announced she will only wear red until January.
Composting the pumpkins that are still on the front porch.
Scraping art clay off the woodwork from last summer’s sculpting project.
Managing the situation when Chicken Noodle decides she”s the shark and her little sister is Brittany Hamilton.
Christmas shopping.
Painting over the crayon on the wall.
Redecorating the Christmas tree that the chickens already decorated.
Vacuuming the uncooked oatmeal out of the heater vent in the kitchen.
Addressing 125 Christmas cards.
Shopping for a disco ball for New Year’s Eve.
Going to couples’ therapy with Captain Daddy.
Locating a costume for Chicken Little’s ballet recital this weekend.
Recycling pounds of kid art without any kids noticing.
Writing a novel. (OK, fine. I’ll do that one.)
Start date: Immediately.
Hours: Endless.
Pay Rate: I’ll pour you a glass of wine.
Applicants: Show up at my front door, you”re hired.
