Chicken Noodle lost her third tooth yesterday. Old hat at this tooth fairy business and growing more savvy by the moment at the ripe old age of six-and-a-half, last night at bedtime she crawled into bed, pencil and paper in hand, and jotted this note. Daer tooth Fariy, Can…
Having kids was worth it just for what they bring to birthdays. Undoubtedly the most beautiful cake ever made, fingerprints, gigantic crater in the center, missing hunks and all. Put “Happy New You” into the search engine on my home page…
Possibly inspired by the creative vision that came with her new glasses from the eye doctor, the artist in residence makes a bold move towards a new artistic venture.
Can’t resist posting this one, which came in yesterday from my sister K. She’s vacationing in France with her husband B, son O (9) and daughter R (8). Anyone who has ever traveled with children will relate to this tale, which is ripe with the inherent perils of taking small people out of their…
Chicken Noodle: “I hate poop.” Me: “Well, it’s kind of just a part of life.” CN: “I know. Animals poop and boys poop and everybody poops.” Me: “Right.” CN: “Trees poop and pee too. When leaves fall it’s pee and poop is whole branches.” Me: “Actually, the crazy truth is that trees poop gasses.…
Mom, where are you going tonight? To a restaurant downtown. That’s boring. Where do you think I should go, Boo? London. Mom, I told you, we have to a-gree, not un-gree. Mom, I love you. I love you to the lamp, and then to space, and then back to the floor. But I…
Captain Daddy and I almost didn’t get married based on vastly differing spiritual beliefs. All of that now seems like the sort of completely irrelevant nonsense that young people fixate on when making monumental decisions like who to spend the rest of their lives with, unaware that it’s actually anxiety, boredom and the laundry that…
Listening to Lady Gaga with the kids is super fun until you drop the little one off at preschool one day and she belts out to her teacher: “Let’s have some fun, this beat is sick. I want to take a ride on your disco stick.” If you are feeling beaten down by grown-up life,…
Remember when you thought your parents had done the dirty deed twice—once to make you and once to make your sister? And then at some point the illusion shatters. Too bad it’s usually far before the whole concept can be, ahem, appreciated.