What I Learned About Survival When My Baby Died How an experience 17 years ago prepped me for the pandemic My recent essay, selected by the site editors to be featured on Medium, about love, loss, and a big experience from my past that feels pretty darn relevant today. Thanks for reading, friends, and be…
“Nothing happens, and nothing happens, and then everything happens.” –Fay Weldon
Last week, I took seven days off of everything to help my mother through her first chemo treatment—or, as they say in Hawaii, her first date with “my friend Kimo.” It was my first experience as witness to chemo. I imagine chemo looks the same anywhere, but here are my notes on Hawaiian Kimo. It’s…
When I was young, Halloween was my very favorite holiday. No big surprise for a kid who was always yearning to be anyone but herself. Even if it was a fantasy, this was my one chance a year to be wilder, freer, happier, better. The last few weeks have been pretty darned real, as was…
For all the thematic tension I managed to milk from my looming 40th birthday in the course of this blog, as it actually loomed large, I barely mentioned it. (Can anyone say denial?) Well, anyway, it was yesterday. Tra la la! As for how it feels and all of that, I will only say, you…
A couple of weeks ago while I was tutoring at the college, my blood sugar crashed. I emptied my wallet of quarters and headed for the vending machine, wondering if I would find any sugar-free, protein-laden options. Yay—Smokehouse almonds. $1.25. I plunked my five quarters in and watched the little metal corkscrew arm make its…
Today is the seventh anniversary of the birth and death of my first child. There was a time when I thought it would get easier each year. Now I think, it doesn’t. First comes a frantic stemming of the tide. But it comes anyway—a massive tidal wave of grief. I cry for days. I mean,…
Anyone heard of angel cards? They are a product of the woo-woo culture, a novelty I’ve kept by my bedside since college (which was a long time ago, btw). Like a deck of cards, you draw one to take as your daily inspiration. They each read one word—Strength, Healing, Purpose etc. I don’t pay the…
It has been said that all fear is fear of death. I’ve managed to get my head around the fact that all negative emotions are fear. Envy is fear. Anger is fear. Anxiety is fear. But I hadn’t gotten my head around all fear being fear of death until I came to live with a…