What Happens When You Go To Sleep With A Fistful Of Silly Putty
In case anyone was wondering.
The Unparalleled Allure of an Imaginary Brother
Chicken Noodle: Mom, we’re playing princess castle and Little won’t be the prince and I want her to be the prince. Me: I’m sorry, baby. But she gets to be what she wants. Noodle: If our brother were alive, he’d be the prince. Me: Yeah, maybe. Noodle: And there would be more of us to…
Quote of the Day
Chicken Noodle (Distraught, after a lengthy time out for kicking her sister in the head): “Mom, I know I need to listen to my heart, but my heart said beat Maris up.”
Literacy Begins At Home
When you know your word-nerdly ways have been successfully passed on to the next generation: Chicken Little, aged 3: “Mom, I tooted twice. Hey, an alliteration! Tooted twice! (giggle)”
How to Completely Freak Out the Trader Joe’s Checker
Checker: You girls are so cute! Chicken Noodle and Chicken Little (preening): Thanks! Checker: Do you have any other brothers or sisters? CN: We had a brother. CL: But he died. CN: Yeah, he’s dead. CL: Really, really dead. CN: Super dead. Checker: Oh. (begins to shove grocery items very quickly into bags, avoiding eye…
Trick or Treat
When I was young, Halloween was my very favorite holiday. No big surprise for a kid who was always yearning to be anyone but herself. Even if it was a fantasy, this was my one chance a year to be wilder, freer, happier, better. The last few weeks have been pretty darned real, as was…
Let Me Entertain You
Chicken Little, three-going-on-four, has learned a new word. She’s been working hard to insert it in as many sentences as possible. I need to go to bed right now, dammit. Where is my ducky blanket, dammit? Dammit, I hate oatmeal. Dammit, I want to catch a butterfly! Meanwhile, Chicken Noodle, five-going-on-six, is writing her own…
Dated
Me: Today, we listen to 80s music. Chicken Little: What is that? Chicken Noodle: I don’t know.
What Did You Do Today, Mom?
After school, one day this week: Chicken Noodle: Mom, you be me and I’ll be you. Me: Okay. Chicken Noodle: What did you do today, sweetie? Me: I went to Kindergarten. It was so cool! I love it I love it I love it! CN: Oh, that’s drjeffsklar.com nice, honey. Me: What did you do…
Baby Takes Flight
Actual dialogue between my husband and myself, two weeks ago: Me (troubled): You know what I think it is? I think I am anxious about Kindergarten. Capt. Daddy: You are going to do fine in Kindergarten, honey. If anyone needs me this morning, I’ll be that middle-aged blonde dripping tears in the parking lot…