Meet Ask Oregon Ambassador Kim Cooper Findling on the Travel Oregon Blog
Thank you, Mike Bookey – I’ll always worship you for comparing me to David Sedaris.
I’m reading at Deschutes Public Library this Sunday December 11 at 2 p.m. Hope to see you there!
Wife For Hire
Finding more outfits for Chicken Noodle, who has announced she will only wear red until January.
Composting the pumpkins that are still on the front porch.
Scraping art clay off the woodwork from last summer’s sculpting project.
Managing the situation when Chicken Noodle decides she’s the shark and her little sister is Brittany Hamilton.
Painting over the crayon on the wall.
Redecorating the Christmas tree that the chickens already decorated.
Vacuuming the uncooked oatmeal out of the heater vent in the kitchen.
Addressing 125 Christmas cards.
Shopping for a disco ball for New Year’s Eve.
Going to couples’ therapy with Captain Daddy.
Locating a costume for Chicken Little’s ballet recital this weekend.
Recycling pounds of kid art without any kids noticing.
Writing a novel. (OK, fine. I’ll do that one.)
Start date: Immediately.
Pay Rate: I’ll pour you a glass of wine.
Applicants: Show up at my front door, you’re hired.
Old crusty guy approaches me in a bar. “Mind if I sit down?”
I agree. He pulls up a stool, creakily climbs aboard. Small talk ensues.
“How long have you lived in Newport?” I ask.
“Well, 15 years,” old crusty guy replies. “But the first seven years I was a wino. I wasn’t really here. So I’ve actually only lived here eight years.”
Right there with you, dude.